Oh why why why?????

This last weekend was so bad for me. In the past few months I have been liking a guy at work. We have built a wonderful friendship and I have loved every day of it. We walk in together every morning and talk, he sits by me at brake and we talk some more.  I play ultimate Frisbee with him twice a week, I like him a lot. He is a wonderfully kind country boy (not a cowboy).  He hunts and helps his family around their small garden.  He likes to ride horses and he loves BYU football.  He is from a large family of 8 and lives in Springvill.
Why am I telling you all of this you say.  Well, you need to know about who he is so you understand.  See,  like I said we have been doing all of those things for about two to three months and then a bomb hit me like a tone of bricks.  On facebook he posted that he was now in a relationship with another girl just Friday of last week.  I wanted to die and just give up on everything in life.  Well needless to say I stayed in bed all day Saturday and felt like I would die. I just wanted to walk right in front of an oncoming train. Things just seemed hopeless. You must remember that this has happened to me not once not twice not three times but four, ugh!!!.  I called my mother so many times that day crying and complaining about my life. I watched a lot of movies and ate a lot of junk. It got to be about four in the afternoon, and I needed to talk with my mother again so I called. She told me that I needed to just live my life and be happy, to find joy in something and have fun doing it and to just let god take over and to stop trying so hard. We talked about some options and decided on a few. My parents have been telling me that I am learning something new every time this happens. I am being taught thru my challenges even if it is so hard to bear I am still learning something. When I hung up the phone I felt so much better. The next day when I went to church and I was a bit worried that seeing all of the family's would spark sadness in my heart, but it didn't. Instead I was happy. I am blessed to have a wonderful ward family who loves me dearly. One of the counselors in the bishopric is a Marriage and family counselor (found this out while I was having problems with guy #3) and so he talked with me.  He helped me see the things that I didn't see.
This boys name is Kevin and he does care about me and my feelings and he is my good friend. I know that one day I will find my husband. I have faith that this wonderful blessing of companionship will come to me one day. I have longed for it all my life and know I will be blessed with it, all of it. Kevin and I are still walking in to work together and having brake together. We wave good bye after work and then start all over the next day. One funny thing is that the girl he is with now looks just like me, It gives me hope in finding a guy who can love me for me. I am planning on going back on my diet after my trip and I want to start running in the evenings for exercise. I found out that I like to run while I was playing ultimate Frisbee. Well I hope that you and your family's are doing well. Cherish what you have, because a lot of men and women that are single want it so bad. Give your spouse an huge and tell them you love them.
If your traveling thru Blogger and feel like life is worthless, don't give up. Things will be OK dearest, have faith.

Make your self know to me if your just traveling thru Blogger. I love to hear from new people.


*** sorry for any typos or mistakes ***